E!RN: Fox to Hound: Hands off my man!

NEW ALHIRA, DEMARIA/ - Bullets rang out late Thursday evening in an explosive shootout between legendary Lucky 13 heroine Ace and intergalactic terrorist Mika Tachyon! And because we've always got our fingers on the celebrity pulse, E!RN has the scoop!

Who is the mystery hunk who would tear such steadfast friends apart? Why, none other than Captain Vadim Tostanavich, owner of the newly-rebuilt Rockhopper's Haven and bonafide beefcake!

(The camera cuts to candid shots of an Ungstiri man with a five o' clock shadow drinking at an unknown locale, purchasing cigarettes at a Hancock Station duty-free kiosk, and sitting on the ramp of an unidentified black freighter.)

Our source tells us that things have been hot and heavy between the two kapitans since the tragic fall of Ungstir - that is, until a certain corsair got a load of her most trusted tovarisch's new squeeze! Unable to keep her paws off of anything that isn't hers, the Jackal snapped Tostanavich up from right under Ace's nose!

Never one to be played for a fool, the fox tracked the pair down to Demaria, where she caught them red-handed on a wild night on the town!

(Cut to footage of Mika with said Ungstiri man boozing and barhopping around New Alhira, followed by a separate clip of the clearly inebriated pair mugging for the cameras as they are ejected from Glimmercoat's by security.)

"Ace wasn't about to put up with that. She called Mika out on the landing field, then drew a gun and sicced a dog on her," says our source. "It was brutal! Mika returned fire before fleeing the scene with her new boytoy in tow!"

But don't count our beloved kapitan out yet! Eyewitnesses claim that she retreated to her ship... with her new Timonese lover! Stay tuned for our up-to-the-minute coverage of this sizzling new love affair!

- Sharpeye Rumorchaser, E!RN correspondent

INN: Rare swamp beasts sought!

HESPERIA, MARS - Martian multi-millionaire Eugene Tanks is offering a reward to anyone who can deliver three of the rare shillamarik swamp beasts from Ydahr within the next 48 hours.

"These creatures have a keen sense of smell, swift limbs, and vicious fangs," Tanks said. "They'd be perfect additions as guardians for my estate on the Isle of Theseus."

INN: Downloadable schools the future of education?

GRAND ENAJ, SIVAD - The latest innovation from Sivtek, using controversial criminal justice technology, is a "downloadable" form of education that will allow students to complete multiple master's degrees in 24 hours.

The system, known as the Univirt, is based on a simulator that let criminals convicted of felonies serve what felt like decades in prison within just a few days.

"We are confident that the Univirt will prove wildly popular in the coming years," said Lamont Heath, vice president in charge of marketing for Sivtek.

INN: Solar Republic to put presence on Hancock

With the retirement of First Consul Darian Ellesmere, the Martian government has kept very silent about its future. Today, that silence was broken with the release of a succinct statement: "The Solar Republic will establish a presence in Hancock." No more information was provided.

INN political analyst Ferdinand McAllister speculates on these events. "Clearly, they want a piece of the pie," he says. "OATO is already getting a foot in, so they'll try to stick their whole leg. After all, they probably think they have a right to New Luna."

No one from the Republic was available for comment.

INN: OATO accepts invitation

In a brief press conference today, representatives for the Orion Arm Treaty Organization expressed their interest in accepting the invitation to open offices in Hancock. "The space station will provide the Allied Force with a neutral location to carry out their work," a spokesman explains. "It will also be key in future efforts to help New Luna with rebuilding efforts, should the request for aid come."

Discussions with Krushnik Incorporated have already begun about to establish a presence in the former NLM base.

INN: Military invitation expended

HANCOCK STATION, NEW LUNA ORBIT - In a messsage that has been leaked to the press, Krushnik Incorporated appears to have extended an invitation to the Vanguard and the Allied Fleet to act as a public peacekeeping force on Hancock Station. Whether either of the militaries will accept remains to be seen.

INN: Hancock plans announced!

HANCOCK STATION, NEW LUNA ORBIT - Ungstiri tycoon today Alexander Krushnik announced his plans for the recently privatised Hancock Station. In a prepared statement that was handed to the press, he stated:

"Krushnik Incorporated is opening up Hancock Station to the public. The beginnings of its refit have begun and it will be ready for the opening celebration on Sunday the 6th of July. People of all worlds are to be welcome here, to set up shops, offices and bring business to the station. Anyone who wishes to be employed as a member of the station's staff will be given a fair interview and an equal chance to succeed. Hancock Station has been returned to New Luna orbit, where it shall be found for the foreseeable future. We hope to see you soon."